Italian jokes

It’s been a long week, hasn’t it? Well, cheer up, here’s a few good Italian jokes to make you start of the weekend with a smile:

The Italian businessman

An Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, “Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”
“And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do with your ashes?”
The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the tax collectors …and write on the envelope, ‘Now you have everything.’

Luigi and Paolo

Luigi and Paulo were fishing in the Mediterranean sea one sunny day when a World War II mine came floating along. On seeing this round, spikey object coming nearer and nearer, Luigi shouts at his friend ” Hey Paulo, it’s a mine, it’s a mine!!!” Paulo replies ” O.K. Luigi, you can-a have it!!! ”

?!?!

What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pocket? – A mute

A Greek and an Italian

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.   Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.” The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.   With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”

The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!”